Imagining 2019 New Year’s Resolutions for the Dodgers

Editor’s note: this post is meant to be comical in nature, and is done purely in jest. No players were consulted or harmed during this process.

It’s almost the new year and that means we are getting closer and closer to Dodgers baseball again! As we welcome 2019, I’m sure we all have resolutions of our own that we would like to achieve… but I can’t help but feel that some Dodgers players are right there along with us.

Resolutions

Justin Turner — My resolution for the new year is to continue to be amazing! …and to maybe look out for inside fastballs.

Joc Pederson — I resolve to not forget my new and wonderful baby at Target.

Chris Taylor — My resolution this year is to make sure I work on my cool poses while I strike out looking another 100 or so times.

Cody Bellinger — I resolve to read the instructions on ALL items I put into my oven.

https://twitter.com/cinxsav/status/1062609735889780736

Alex Verdugo — I promise to have the most EXTRA chainz in the game.

Kike Hernandez — My resolution is to make up with @realFRG on Twitter and unblock him.

Clayton Kershaw — My new year’s resolution is to make my way over to the “magic velocity factory” in Houston and start throwing 98mph fastballs this season. I also plan to win another Cy Young and like 5 MVPs.

Max Muncy — My resolution is to not let the clock strike midnight.

Pedro Baez — I too resolve to not let the clock strike midnight.

Joe Kelly — My resolution is to finally help the Dodgers for once!

Kenley Jansen — I promise to care more! Like Ice T from Rick and Morty!

Austin Barnes — For 2019, my resolution is to have more Dodgers fans like me…

Rich Hill — I’m hitting a homerun. That’s it. That’s my resolution.

Walker Buehler — My resolution is start every postseason game so we can just win a World Series already.

Corey Seager — I resolve to not steal yo girl.

Favorite Fan Submissions

We put out a post on Twitter last week about this. Here are some of the best answers:

Better Batting Average with RISP

— Don (@FakeDonMatingly) December 28, 2018

Take a bat to Andrew Friedman’s computer.

— Randy (@randy8631) December 28, 2018

Win

— JSB (@MakeItPeaceful) December 28, 2018

No more … pic.twitter.com/nzsHMoXnl4

— mrblue (@mrblue323) December 28, 2018

Kiké: Start getting HBP like Dad

— Lola THE DH & ROB MANFRED ARE BAD FOR BASEBALL (@lawbibliophile) December 28, 2018

David Freese: Fully embrace his role as the new Dodgers Dad in 2019.

— hillbilly with no need for an elegy (@_southernish_) December 29, 2018

Corey Seager – healthy and bring home the trophy this year!!

— Dodgers4Life (@TracisTreats) December 28, 2018

@buehlersdayoff No Hitter.

— Kim Neal (@kimnealintx) December 28, 2018

Muncy prove the nay sayers wrong. No regression…just bigger, badder, better! Double the playing time, double the reward. Knock 'em dead!!!

— Pacificrk (@pacificrk) December 30, 2018

Harper: World Series 2019

— Abraham Huitron (@Ayeeebroham) December 28, 2018

Cody Bellinger: “I resolve to find one swing and stick to it.”

— Greg likes post.news (check bio) (@bigblaster22) December 28, 2018

Corey Seager wins comeback player of the year.

— Jonas Dominguez (@jonasjdominguez) December 28, 2018

Bryce Harper? ???? join the team ?????

— Daniel Amaya (@DanielAmayaNV) December 29, 2018

Kershaw: WS MVP

— Jake Hatcher (@MrJanuary5) December 28, 2018